Thirteen years ago I started a relationship with a man who would turn out to be emotionally abusive.

Sometimes I wonder if the signs were there before I said yes to dating him.

Sometimes I wonder if my intuition was telling me stuff and I was choosing to ignore it.

Sometimes I wonder what if my self-worth and self-esteem had been better, would I have gone there?

The truth is, that doesn’t actually matter now.

After eight years I found the courage to leave and then I met the love of my life and recently got married.

I could say this post is about hindsight, the beauty of it and what we can learn from it. (And indeed, there is always something there for us to learn).

Or I could say this post is about hope and happy endings. (And indeed, that is true – there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if we look for it).

Or I could say this post is about moving on, reclaiming your power, embracing your strength and resilience. (Again, that’s true – we have a fountain of inner strength and resilience always there at our disposal).

But really it’s more than that.

It’s about recognising that things happen. Life happens. It’s not always rainbows and fluffy kittens.

It’s about recognising that there are some things we can’t control.

And it’s recognising that it’s up to us how we see those things we can’t control. Whether we choose to see them as good or bad, right or wrong, perfect timing or the worse timing, as something that says something about us or as something that says something about another person…

Or any other complex individual interpretation of an event that we’ve decided to make up to give it meaning so that we can make sense of the world (because from an evolutionary perspective that’s what we’ve been programmed to do).

And there is beauty in that because there are a lot of things we can’t control – from how other people think and act, the weather and the outcomes of our endeavours.

But what we can control is how we view a situation and how we respond to it.

We get to choose how we experience now; we get to choose how we experience the memories of our past.

That is always up to us.

And we can always change what we think.

#ownyourawesome

PS – Working with me 1:1 coaching is an opportunity to transform your life by challenging your beliefs in how you view your life. We’ll move from unhelpful beliefs to ones that wake you up, provide clarity and peace of mind and serve you in becoming the best version of you. This is an invitation to create the life you deserve. Get in touch to find out what that might look like for you.

PPS – If you know someone who might benefit from coaching or this post, please share!