Thirteen years ago I started a relationship with a man who would turn out to be emotionally abusive.Sometimes I wonder if the signs were there before I said yes to dating him.Sometimes I wonder if my intuition was telling me stuff and I was choosing to ignore it.Sometimes I wonder what if my self-worth and … Continue reading You get to “choose” how to experience life
emotional abuse
No one can make you feel anything
When I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, one of the behaviours my ex had was... [note - trigger warning] ...telling me how my behaviour and feelings affected him and how, as a result, I wasn't allowed to act or feel that way because of this. This mostly revolved around the feeling of stress. I … Continue reading No one can make you feel anything
You do not have a problem
"You know what your problem is..." The words barrelled out of my mum's mouth. "Your problem is you always make assumptions about people that aren't correct. Like the assumption you're making about me." In the past I would have taken this observation personally. I would have taken it on board to mean there was something … Continue reading You do not have a problem
There is always hope
There is always hope - even when things are pretty bad, you feel down or the world seems out to get you. Recently, I got engaged - yip over the moon! But this was the last place I imagined I'd ever be. Especially several years ago when I was with another man in an emotionally … Continue reading There is always hope
How do you improve your self-worth?
How can I improve my self-worth? That was the question I asked myself when I experienced the fallout from an emotionally abusive relationship. It's taken several years to put the pieces together to realise it wasn't a matter of trying to improve my self-worth but rather recognising my self-worth was always there. Bottom line... Self-worth … Continue reading How do you improve your self-worth?
Abuse doesn’t go unnoticed – friends can tell
I always felt there was something wrong with a previous relationship. I was right – it was emotionally abusive. Only I didn’t realise it at the time. I thought it was me that was setting the relationship all skew whiff – I was blamed enough times to believe it. But my friends knew something was … Continue reading Abuse doesn’t go unnoticed – friends can tell
There is nothing wrong with you
One of the defining features of my previous relationship which was emotionally abusive was the sense that there was something wrong with me. There were a lot of things I never seemed to get right – the time in the morning I brought his cup of tea, how I peeled mushrooms, pureeing soup instead of … Continue reading There is nothing wrong with you
Why I’m fundraising to tackle domestic abuse
If there was one word to describe the realisation that I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship, that word would be shame. It would quickly be followed by the word weakness. How did I not realise I was in an emotionally abusive relationship? How weak was I to get into this sort of relationship … Continue reading Why I’m fundraising to tackle domestic abuse
Adventure alert: I’m going to sail around Great Britain
I’ve spent no more than a handful of days in a sailing boat. I don’t know if I will get seasick. I forget my port from my starboard. And the toilet is a bucket with a toilet seat. Yet from May 1st 2022, this will be my life for four months onboard a 28 foot … Continue reading Adventure alert: I’m going to sail around Great Britain
Say NO MORE to domestic violence
I am one of the one in three women who have experienced sexual assault or domestic violence at some point in their lives. In my case it was emotional abuse for eight years. I was so naïve and vulnerable and he was so masterful that I didn’t even realise what was happening to me. Slowly … Continue reading Say NO MORE to domestic violence