You know what it’s like…

You’ve got this amazing dream and it really calls to you but you can’t help thinking.. what if I fail, what if people will laugh at me, I don’t have the confidence, I’m not ready, it’s impossible or I’m just not good enough to do it.

So, you hesitate. You procrastinate. You find excuses why it’s a terrible idea and why you shouldn’t go after it. You say maybe one day but today’s not that day. You lock it away in a corner of your mind.  

Self-doubt’s a b**** right. It feels like it stops you from going after your dreams. It keeps you stuck.

That’s the trap with self-doubt – and you’re not alone.

But here’s the thing…

One of the greatest illusions in life is believing that self-doubt has the power to hold us back or stop us from achieving our goals and dreams.

It actually doesn’t.

Let me explain.

When I experienced chronic self-doubt in the past, I saw it like a locked door. I figured it would never unlock and let me go after my dreams while I felt like I wasn’t good enough or thought there was something wrong with me.

But I have since learnt that self-doubt is not a “thing”.

As transformational life coach Michael Neill would say – you can’t put self-doubt in a wheelbarrow.

Yet as humans we have a tendency to “thingify” self-doubt.

In our minds, we make it big and scary and solid and impenetrable.

We tend to think of it as a gun to our head, a locked door, a felled tree on our path or a burly bouncer baring entrance to the world of our dreams.

It’s this belief that self-doubt can physically stop us from taking a step forward that keeps us stuck.

So, for all the time we think that self-doubt can stop us, it will.

So, for all the time we think that self-doubt can stop us, we will stay stuck.

But that is the illusion because self-doubt isn’t some locked door – it’s actually just something we’ve conjured up. An illusion.

The locked door doesn’t actually exist. It never did.

Our imagination is a magical and powerful gift that we don’t always use wisely.

And in this instance, we have gifted it the power to stop us going after our dreams.

So, what happens if we don’t gift it this power?

It means self-doubt isn’t a physical thing and that means it can’t physically stop us, which means it doesn’t have any power.

Now that’s scary because that means there is nothing stopping us now from going after our dreams. With nothing to blame, the onus is on us to turn them into reality.  

That’s suddenly a lot of responsibility.

It’s far easier and safer to think of self-doubt as a locked door that can stop us.

That’s the trap.

So, here’s the truth – the power isn’t with our self-doubt.

It lies with us. It’s our decision to gift dream-stopping powers to self-doubt. It’s our choice to stay stuck or walk through the mirage of the locked door hanging in front of us.

We have the power. Not the self-doubt.

We have the power to choose whether we are held back or move towards our goal in spite of feeling doubt, our knees knocking.

The buck always stops with us.

We are stronger, more capable, more resilient and more awesome than we think we are.

What does self-doubt mean to you? What are you making it out to be? Are you “thingifying” it?

Ask yourself… When have you felt self-doubt but still achieved your goal?

If you’re a woman with a goal or dream and want a community for support, inspiration, motivation and a mindset reboot, find out more about the Dream Clinic community for women here