“But I need practical advice on what to do,” said a client, who I’m coaching to achieve a big goal.
“OK, so when you start to have a thought or a feeling, ask if it’s true,” I said.
“Look for the evidence that it’s not fact. If you can do that you’ll see the illusion of the stories you tell yourself.”
“But what if I find it horrible?” my client said.
“Ah ha, my point exactly. How do you know it will be horrible?”
“Well… I don’t.”
“Exactly. There are any number of possibilities of what it might be like. It might also be amazing. So how can you say ‘being horrible’ can be true?”
“Well… I can’t say it’s true. I guess there is no evidence that it would definitely be horrible. Hmmm.” My client pondered the situation.
“How you think and feel about it doesn’t define who you really are on the inside or what you’re capable of,” I reminded them.
“You might feel it’s horrible and you can’t cope but you know those thoughts aren’t true. Because you’ve overcome tough times before – that shows you have the strength and resilience and resourcefulness inside you.”
“Oh yeah.” My client smiled. “I feel so much better now having talked to you.”
The two takeaways from this conversation?
1) Don’t believe everything you think. Ask yourself, is what you think and feel the truth? Look for times in the past that show that how you think and feel right now isn’t grounded in truth. When have you proved your thoughts and feelings wrong?
2) The real truth is you’re stronger, more capable, more resilient and more amazing than you think. Look for times when you have seen this in yourself – when have you overcome challenges, done things you didn’t think you could, survived or endured things you didn’t think you could survive or endure?
PS – My new six-week group coaching programme for women exploring self-belief and how our mind works to hold us back from being the incredible, awesome humans we are, starts on Tuesday September 19th 2023. If you want to become unstuck and explore what you’re really capable of then get in touch here for more details.