For the past two weeks I have been a snot-filled, coughing monster. 🤧

All thanks to coming off the excitement, adrenalin and cortisol caused by getting married.

Having a head cold is no fun at the best of times but when you’re a perfectionist, people pleaser, self-doubter and “should-er” like me, having a head cold can be doubly hard.

I’m one of those people who has conditioned beliefs including:

💣 “I should be doing stuff”

💣 “I should be progressing”

💣 “I should be achieving and succeeding”

💣”If I’m not doing stuff, progressing or achieving that means there’s something wrong with me”

💣 “I have so much to do I don’t have time to put myself first, make time for me, treat myself”

(Anyone else relate??)

It’s been a process over the past few years to recognise this pattern of behaviour and what I’m making it mean about myself. But also to recognise there is no truth in any of it.

Yet this head cold has still triggered me – I kept thinking I should be answering emails, cleaning my office, working etc rather than looking after myself.

So I gave myself a challenge to push myself outside my comfort zone.

For several weeks now I’ve been setting myself small challenges to face my fears and question my self-limiting beliefs to see what’s actually possible. (Here’s the first one).

So this week I challenged myself to be kind to myself. I would let myself sleep-in on a work day, knowing that that is what my body needed. I would shelve the anxiety and made-up expectations of all the “I should be doing x, y, z” pressure I was putting on myself.

Initially my ego mind didn’t like it. It told me everything I should be doing and how useless a person I was and how I should be better and stronger than my cold.

And I said: “Thanks for your input. I’m not going to listen to you now. I know you’re just doing your thing trying to keep me “safe” but I’m going to focus on what I know to be true, which is to slow down and give myself a break.”

And so I did.

It’s easy to get caught in the trap of what you think you “should” be doing rather than focusing on what you actually need or what you “know” deep down is right for you.

We can scoff over the trivialities of a lie in, or slowing down or having a break or not replying to emails but for many people doing exactly that is considerably harder done than said.

When you’re a slave to your ego mind you don’t tend to put yourself first. You forget your value and your worth. You don’t act in the best interests of yourself and what you know is right for you.

So it can feel alien and uncomfortable, and even confronting, when you’re considering giving yourself a break or putting yourself first.

But ask yourself – if you don’t, who will?

If you know it’s time to focus on putting yourself first and you want a sounding board, then let’s jump on a call and explore what that might look like for you.

#ownyourawesome

PS – If you know someone who might benefit from coaching or this post, then please share!