What goes on at a hen’s party, stays at a hen’s party…
Unless I decide to share it!
On Saturday, my friends treated me to my UK hen’s party (I’m lucky enough to have another one next year in New Zealand).
And all the week before, I had been dreading it!
Dreading it as in worried about what was planned because it was all a surprise.
How much would I have to drink? Would there be shots? Would I have to wear something ridiculous? Would I have to carry a blow up sex doll handcuffed to my wrist? Would I be traumatised by a lap dance by a half naked man? Would I still have eyebrows at the end of the night?
The unknown was scaring the bejesus out of me.
But my reaction was actually perfectly normal and human…
Because anytime the unknown looms up towards us, our ego brain goes into overdrive and starts imagining made-up worst-case scenarios and “what if” situations.
It does this because it just wants to keep us safe. It’s the evolutionary fight or flight response.
And because our ego mind is wanting to keep us safe, it likes our comfort zone and it just wants to keep us there.
But comfort zones keep us small and limited. They stop us from growing and changing for the better and experiencing new and amazing things (like seedy strip joints 😅 ).
But what is particularly interesting is often when we do dip our toe outside our comfort zone and we see what it’s like and we face our fears, we generally look back and we wonder what we were worried about to begin with.
For me, I can see how my mind was working – I mean, did I really think my friends would shave my eyebrows off!!! We are women in our 40s for goodness sake! And actually the hen’s party was flipping brilliant. There was nothing to b scared of or worried about.
Our ego minds want to keep us safe but they don’t know anything about the power and potential of our deeper mind, which is overflowing with courage, strength, resilience, the ability to cope, resourcefulness, creativity and awesomeness among other superpowers.
That deeper mind knows we can deal with the unknown because we have everything within us to be able to deal with it and to thrive.
Knowing that makes the unknown just a little less scary.
PS – My mantra is we are stronger, more capable, more resilient and more awesome than we think we are. That’s why we can jump outside our comfort zone and thrive. As a self-belief coach, I’ll hold your hand on your journey outside your comfort zone. If you need support, let’s talk.
PPS – Know someone who might benefit from coaching or this newsletter? Please share!