Self-doubt doesn’t have to hold you back

“If only I didn’t doubt myself then I’d be able to walk the length of New Zealand.”

That’s what I told myself over and over again when I was “trying to find” the courage to take on the adventure.

I thought my self-doubt was holding me back, stopping me in my tracks, and pointing to a belief that I just wasn’t good enough.

I finally got to the point where this thinking was driving me crazy and somewhere inside me wanted to prove it was all wrong. I’d put off doing the walk for three years, too consumed with self-doubt.

Enough was enough!

But my self-doubt didn’t vanish.

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We are all brave

I don’t consider myself especially brave.

Yet I’ve been called that a lot recently.

It all started with my solo trek down the length of New Zealand.

But I definitely didn’t feel brave when I stood at the northern tip of New Zealand about take the first step.

In fact, I was a total bundle of nerves and riddled with self-doubt and fear. I’d never done anything like this before. Who was I to think I could walk 3,000km (1,864 miles)?

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Adventure alert: I’m going to sail around Great Britain

I’ve spent no more than a handful of days in a sailing boat. I don’t know if I will get seasick. I forget my port from my starboard. And the toilet is a bucket with a toilet seat.

Yet from May 1st 2022, this will be my life for four months onboard a 28 foot (8.5m) long yacht named Speedwell as my partner Mark and I sail an estimated 2,000 miles (3,218km) around the coast of Great Britain.

Mark has been sailing for more than 20 years so is a dab hand at this floating thing but I’m coming at it new and green – and just a little bit nervous.

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Days 45-55 of #WalkNZ part 2 – The Clent Hills, Two Thumbs Range & Te Araroa’s highest point

20200219_140531I have now walked just more than half of the South Island of New Zealand on part 2 of #WalkNZ. 

More than 650km.

Woozers!

That explains why the tread on my shoes is looking a little bald and why I’m now slightly obsessed with food.

The past 10 days have provided some of the best highlights of the trail – wild West country and the greatest sense of remoteness so far, super wild camping spots, the highest point on the Te Araroa trail, a stunning ridgeline walk with views to New Zealand’s tallest mountain Mt Cook, and a 55km bike ride. Continue reading

Why perfection is a self-limiting belief and counter-productive for goals

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Twelve.

I had twelve fricken blisters. Twelve annoying, excruciatingly painful blisters; twelve little swollen mounds of encapsulated liquid intent on ruining my life.

I sighed, staring at them glumly.

The fact none had popped was beside the point. They were there on my feet, in places I didn’t know you could even get a blister.

And that one between my big toe and second toe, which stretched down and around onto the ball of my foot – on both feet, I might add – well that was the mother*****r of them all.

Nasty bloody blisters.

It was the end of week two on my #WalkNZ adventure where I was attempting to solo walk the 3,000km Te Araroa trail down the length of New Zealand to show that self-doubt doesn’t have to hold us back from achieving something incredible.

And I was in a world of pain. Continue reading

10 things I learnt about self-doubt walking the Te Araroa Trail

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I’d just returned to Auckland after being forced to push pause on my #WalkNZ adventure after injuring my knee at the 2,000km mark.

I was catching up with friends and family and one friend asked me: “So how’s the self-doubt? Do you think you’ve conquered it now that you’ve walked 2,000km down the length of New Zealand?” Continue reading